Disenchanted with a Determined Romeo

Insisting the young woman he’d just met on a sidewalk in Carpinteria was his soulmate, a 49-year-old male wrapped his arms around the disenchanted female and slurred, “You are the one for me.”

After attempting to woo his newfound love into a nearby watering hole on Linden Avenue, the subject prompted the woman and her friend waved down a patrolling deputy. Deputies contacted the disruptive subject inside a bar where he was escorted outside for questioning just after 5 p.m.

“Are you bored? Aren’t there murderers out there?” responded the subject, implying his crime of disturbing the peace was unnecessary.

“Am I on ‘Cops’?” he quipped.

During his arrest for public intoxication, and directing his question to his dog tied to a tree nearby, he asked, “Am I going to jail?” While the subject was transported to jail, the dog was transported to an animal kennel while her owner sobered-up behind bars.

Sweet Emotion

Responding to a call of a man and woman arguing at a home in Carpinteria, deputies met with the two friends who were visibly upset after the reported heated argument. However, once on the scene at 5 p.m., the fight appeared resolved and neither desired prosecution.

During the investigation, deputies inquired about the argument. The male counterpart explained, “I saw Aerosmith in 1978 and she doesn”t appreciate me.”

According to the report, alcohol may have played a role in the debate.

Flushing Away Caution

In a desperate search for a bathroom at 10:30 p.m. Dec. 12, two female patrons unable to wait in the women’s line any longer decided to take advantage of the open stalls in the men’s restroom at a State Street bar and restaurant. As soon as they entered the male-only bathroom, an unknown man entered behind them, offering to “hold the door.”

Unalarmed, the women continued with their business until, suddenly, the lights went out. Before finding the bathroom exit, both females claim they were touched inappropriately. Within an hour, the young women, ages 18 and 19, relayed the story to an officer. The suspect, who remains unfound, is wanted for battery.

Poison Control

A Santa Barbara woman, 93, attempted suicide Dec. 7 by drinking a tea made of oleander leaf from the poisonous evergreen shrub. Luckily, after receiving a tip from a friend, emergency personnel arrived on the scene at just after 11 a.m. to treat the victim.

“Carefully controlled doses of oleander extracts are in the early phases of testing to find out if it is effective in treating cancer. There have been numerous reports of poisoning and death from ingestion of oleander, oleander leaf tea and its extracts,” according to the Web site for the American Cancer Society.

Losing Track of Last Call

It was after 2 a.m., the legal cutoff for selling alcohol in California, on Dec. 8 when an inebriated man entered the West Carrillo gas station demanding the employee sell beer. When the employee refused to sell alcohol to the subject, the intoxicated man proceeded to pee on the floor inside the mini-market.

After relieving himself, the subject then punched the employee. He was arrested for battery.

Bring the Roof Down

A concerned citizen contacted authorities after spotting a suspicious duo removing construction supplies from the roof of a home under construction on Santa Cruz Boulevard, and placing them into two idling cars. The male and female appeared to be stealing the roofing material while the crew was away from the site.

By the time officers arrived on the scene at 5 p.m., the burglars had left the area. The site foreman, contacted during the investigation, said he would forward a list of missing inventory to be included with the report to authorities when he returned to the job site.

Can You Hear Me Now?

Eleven cellular phones, with the combined value of $3,679, were stolen when a thief gained entry to Verizon Wireless’s locked, underground storage unit Nov. 30 at Paseo Nuevo. The assistant manager said this is the most recent burglary in a string of thefts from the same storage unit over the past couple of years.

The burglar gained access to the mobile phones after prying open the door with an unknown tool.

Wearing His Beliefs

According to the report, the distinguishing marks on the body of the man, 26, arrested for “disturbing the peace” during a church service Dec. 16 was the tattoo of a “cross on his right butt cheek.”

When the subject behaved aggressively toward parishioners and refused to leave, officers were called to help.

Playing Rough

Suspected of driving while intoxicated, a 44-year-old woman was instructed to have her blood drawn. During the process, the suspect kicked the phlebotomist. The nurse was bruised in the incident.

Putting His Skills to Use

Challenging cars to a fight, a man standing in the roadway at Chapala and Ortega streets who’d been verbally threatening passersby, remained defiant even after an officer arrived on the scene. Threatening to physically harm law enforcement, the subject, unfazed by the burst of pepper spray, attempted to jog away.

With the help of a K-9 unit, the man was quickly taken to the ground.

However, he continued to repeatedly strike the dog until he was finally brought to submission by the combined efforts of officers and the dog.

During his arrest for the violent crime and disturbing the peace, he listed his occupation as a “martial arts instructor.”